Like A Dutchman in Copenhagen

Don't know where to start here... As I said before, yesterday was the reception at a Dutch navy ship and 'Orange party' afterwards, all as part of the celebrations for Dutch Queens' Day.
On the ship: free Heineken, ad libitum... lots of pathetic wanna-be posh ex-pats, dutch herring, and other snacks. Navy boys strutting around in their suits, too many Dutch business men that have had too many business lunches, dinners and drinks.
And us, a bunch of Dutch students, making fun of everything and everyone, annoying the 'waiters' with our constant request for Dutch beer... And we didn't manage to play with the cannons, or fly woth that cool helicopter that stood on deck as well. Too bad!!
Still, bumped into some Danes that I know from Rotterdam, and I haven't seen them for at least 10-12 years...
This Danish girl walks up to me, and asks "Are you Danish", while I was speaking Dutch with my friends (I was quite hammered at this point already...).
Me: "Yes"
She: "I know you"
Me: "Ooooookkkkkk???"
She: "You probably don't recognise me"
Me: "Nope..."
She: "My dad was the priest in the Danish church in Rotterdam many years ago, he was the one that did your confirmation"
Me: "Yesssss... Whaaaaaaaat??"
And then I recognised her, here is a adult woman standing in front of me, last time I saw her she was a little 11 year old girl...
Of course, I met her parents there as well, which was great, as they recognised me directly. So great to see them again!!
They lived in Holland for 9 years, now back in Denmark. Their son is in Holland again at times, their daughter studied in Holland, and now lives with her Dutch boyfriend in Copenhagen. The father did my confirmation for the Danish lutheran church when I was 14... a looong time ago, I have strayed slightly from the path since, I have to say...

It's a small world after all, huh?

Then, the 'Orange Party' afterwards, what can I say... fun and very sad at the same time. There was some 'funny' act as some woman played a scetch dressed up as the Dutch queen. There was more ad libitum Heineken... and some more sad ex-pats. Still, our group of guys won more or less all the good prizes that one could win at the lottery...
I won something very nice (worth 1600 kr...), that I will send to Holland, as it my mothers' birthday next week.
And the guys from my floor won a plane trip for 2 to anywhere in Europe, a dinner for 10 and something else as well.
Met some cool people as well though (some similar blends as I am), and... the 'obligatory' Spanish girl was there of course. With her Danish boyfriend :) How is it that I can pick people out like that?
And again...You have to tell me, what is this stupidness of Danish guys? I have met so many mixed couples over time here, of a Danish guy with a Spanish or Southamerican woman. They have been together for (many) years, and the guy doesn't speak and hasn't even tried to learn her language...
Seriously, how dumb can you be...?? I really don't get it... if you are with that person, you want to learn the language above anything as fast as possible, or am I wrong? Whatever the language, right? My guess is, it won't hold in the long run, but ok...

Then, a free taxi ride home, sponsored as well, and some people making fun of me when I came home, drunk and with this huge box under my arm (I won't say what it is here, as my mum reads this as well... I want it to be a surprise!)

So.. this morning I woke up totally dead, not because of the hangover, which is quite surprising actually, but because now I seriously have the flu... Been blowing my nose the whole day so far, I hate that... I guess the cold wind on the deck on the navy ship didn't really do me much good...

And... the shower didn't help, I am going back to bed, and watch a bad movie or something! Die Hard!!!

...and fluc you too!

...An Asian man was trying to exchange yen for dollars.
He asked the American bank teller: "Why did it change? Yesterday I got two hundred dollar for this yen. Today I get hundred and eighty." The bank teller replies: "Fluctuations." The Asian man retorts: "Fluc you white guys too!"

An early morning grin...

Scream...

I can't believe it...

Just read a newsreport that the paintings that were stolen last year in Oslo, Edward Munch's 'The Scream, and his 'Madonna' are probably destroyed. Burned.

The Scream is probably one of the most famous paintings of the last century, an image that is etched in our collective consciousness, and it is probably gone... just because the thieves were to afraid to have in their possesion. Idiots...
I remember seeing it, it's incredibly powerful. Not my kind of painting, but wow... it's impressive.

When crap like that happens my mind goes to the hypothesis to for example what knowledge would still be in our possession if the Library of Alexandria hadn't been destroyed (thanks to religious fanatics and other morons). It contained a wealth of knowledge, gathered for example throughout the conquests of the founder of the city, Alexander the Great (very unfortunately depicted in a crap movie by Oliver Stone - why can't great historic events/persons not be 'translated' well by Hollywood...).
That library must have contained texts reaching back to the roots of our civilisation... Only imagine...
Well, dreaming and 'what if' won't help us here, and now I am just hoping that the news about 'The Scream' is not true...

Just some thoughts and questions

Just some random stuff that keeps me busy...

1) For some months now, everytime the train arrives at Nørreport station in Copenhagen, a text is broadcasted over the intercom, telling people 'to observe that you have an eye on and take your belongings'.
A broadcast like that is fairly normal, but what strikes me about it, that it doesn't mention the fact that for example you should take your belongings because of possible pickpockets or other thieves. This would be a normal thing, and I've heard such messages a million times in airports.
It doesn't go on to say that they warn you for a reason. It's just said. This is odd, not just because no Dane does anything without a good reason anyway, but precisely because of the lack of any background in the message.

Of course my mind is questioning it everytime I hear it. Maybe because of some bombthreat(s) that is could have warned the authorities? Or maybe because DK is involved in the 'great alliance against evil' (puke puke...), as they have soldiers in Iraq?

It just makes me curious... The fact that this message is only played in Nørreport station and not any of the others, not even the Central Station, makes me wonder... Maybe it's because of the connection with the metro, but...

It's just odd...

2) Then today... As the weather is cold and wet, and yes, my ancle is hurting again. It is now 3 years ago I had surgery, where my left ancle was 'vacuum cleaned as the surgeon so delicately put it, but still... everytime it's cold and wet it's hurts like hell. I'm trying to avoid pain killers as much as possible, as shit like that can make one dependent on them, but... I think I will have one. Bwaahhhh, where is summer!!!!!

3) That there are some pretty weiiiird people walking around... A Norwegian guy actually sued (!!) for getting a blowjob (from a girl) while he was sleeping, and the worst thing: ...he won. I can only say: WTF?????????

4) New travel destinations have presented themselves. To countries I've never been before, so... even better!
Elena and Fatima are moving to Edinburgh, to spend a longer period there, probably teaching Spanish and such. Good luck to them!! They have no job yet, no place to stay, and no friends there... You've got to give it to them, quite a step!
The next one to leave called me yesterday from India to give me the great news: Ravi has gotten a great promotion and is posted by his company in Dubai, where he will enjoy as long as possible the 0 % taxes he will pay...
Another step closer to Europe (abt 5 hrs flying only) and definitely an interesting place to visit! It's shopping heaven for the 'nouveau riche' of Russia, so probably you shouldn't expect the most stylish of things, to say it nicely... still...

No matter what, congratulations and good luck to all of you, but knowing you, you'll be fine!
And the best part, all of the above mentioned will travel on the 5th of May, my mothers' birthday! Coincidence... well, probably not...

5) And tomorrow I have to walk in a suit again... Jochem, another Dutch guy here in CPH, and I managed to get an invitation for an official event organised for (dutch) Queens' Day. As it is the 25th anniversary of the reigning queen and the anniversary of 400 years of official Danish-Dutch diplomatic ties, 2 Dutch navy ships will visit Copenhagen, and an official reception will be held on one of them. Hmmmm, let's see if we can get some sailors drunk and make them 'test' the cannons on board... If anything, it will just be us who will get drunk... ;)

The 'good old days'

It took me some translating, but here it is...

"Ladies and gentlemen, those who are born in the fifties, sixties and seventies,

How on earth is it possible that we, born in the 50s, 60s and 70s, are still alive?? Shouldn't we all according to all the theories in 2005 have been dead a long time ago?

We were put in cars without safety seats, seat belt or airbag.
Our beds were painted with paint filled with lead and cadmium.
At the top of the stairs there was no little fence, who stepped too far just fell down.
When you woke up in the middle of the night nobody heard, and if there was really something wrong you had to scream loud for your parents to notice.
Bottles with stuff from the pharmacy and dangerous contents were easy to open for our small hands and limited control.
Gates and doors just closed and if you got stuck with your fingers they would be gone.
On the bike you sat with your back on the luggage carrier and held on to the springs of the saddle. A helmet didn't even exist for mopeds, let alone bikes.
Bread was bursting with preservatives, after 2 weeks the bread was still as fresh and tasty as it was when you bought it.
Coloring and flavouring must have existed back then as well, because you can't find lemonade as green, red or yellow as it was anymore.
A chewing gum you put at night on the night stand and put it in your mouth again the next morning.
Shoes had already been been worn in by brother, sister or cousin, and your bike was also several sizes to big or small.
A bike had no gears and when the tyre was flat your dad would teach you as fast as possible how to do it yourself.
We left home in the morning and came home at night when the street lights turned on. Nobody knew where we were in the meantime and we had no mobile!
The park or forest was a place to play and have fun and not a place for dirty old men to gather.
When you went over to a friend you just went and didn't make an appointment in advance, just knocked on the door and didn't call in advance. And no adult would accompany you.
We also ate cookies and ate bread with lots of butter on it, and still we didnt get fat.
We drank from the same bottle as our friends and didn't get sick.
We had no Playstation, X-Box, 64 tv channels, videos, DVD, surround sound, own televisions, own computers or internet: we had friends!!
The television channel (singular) started at 6 pm. First the was an hour of something for the children and afterwards you wouldn't dare to get up and push the button to switch (it was attached to the TV). Dad decided what and how long what one was watching.
We cut ourselves, broke our bones, lost teeth, and no one was sued for that. They were 'accidents' and sometimes you even got an extra spanking for it.
We fought and punched each other black and blue, no adult that worried about it, let alone buttoned a lady bug pin on you.
Educationally responsible toys we made ourselves; we hit balls with sticks, built our own carts and noticed and the bottom of the hill it didn't have any brakes. We played football on the streets, and only those that were good could play. Those not good enough had to watch and learn to deal with diappointments.
In school there were stupid kids too. They came and went at the same times as we did, and had the same classes. Sometimes they redid a year, and that was it. No discussion about it at parent-teacher meetings. The teacher was always right.
We made our sandwiches ourselves, even with a big knife, and if you had forgotten something, you couldn't buy anything at school. If you didn't eat the crust of the bread you were a little bit hungry the whole day.
We went by bike to school, all by ourselves, even in winter. If your mom was waving at you at the door, you were a wimp.
If you caused any problems, your parents agreed with the police. They came to pick you, not to bullshit you out of it.
We had freedom, failures, success, and responsibility. We had to learn to deal with it.
Our generation has produced many people that can solve problems, be innovative and take risks... and are answerable for the consequences.

Are you part of of all this? Congratulations, we were heroes!

Are you from after 1980? Now you know something, you pansy..."

:)

I'm from 1975 and recognise most of this, and you?

Should we talk about the weather?

TV 2 Vejret Forum

R.E.M. sang about it in their Pop Song 89 from the brilliant 'Green' album: "Should we talk about the weather?"

But... at times I just get amazed, a genuine wondering whether we have gone crazy or that we really have become so numb and blasé that we have nothing else to talk about than for example the weather...

Quickly looking at the forecast for the weekend, as I hope to enjoy the parks around Copenhagen for a bit, my eye was caught by the forum they have on the site. On this forum people solely and purely about the weather. My first reaction was: "what the f...??"

In the opening sentence page they even speak of the liveliness of the discussion (!!!!), especially when the weather is "baring it's teeth".
In order to streamline the discussion (so danish...) it has been split up in 4 categories... OH MY GOD!!!

Browse (if you understand Danish) through the entries, it's hilarious and so pathetic and sad at the same time, such a futile discussion.
"Now we've had 5 hours of fog here, and yesterday it was so sunny. This is getting slightly annoying"

One really wonders whether there is anything really important going on in the world, huh?

On the other hand, I have to smile and shake my head in wonderment here too. Sometimes it is nice to escape from reality and use humor for protection. Let's just look at this and affably smile at this poor attempt at subtle irony... or whatever it is!

Football, or...?

The last post was so upbeat and happy, as I am happy Dutch football is finally getting somewheer again, but then... then some neanderthalers needed to destroy everything once again.

This time in my hometown!!!!

What they did this time? A couple of hundred Ajax-'fans' decided to destroy the trains that were transporting them to the classic game Feyenoord - Ajax. Probably stoned, drunk, high, and on every kind of drugs imaginable (I've been to games like that, trust me, they go ballistic, it's pathetic) they figured that destroying everything in sight would be a good idea...

If you check out the link, see the picture and you'll see some flats in the background, that's were my childhood friend Raymond was living, where we used to play football for whole days, not needing to care or worry about the big bad world coming to our town and eat it alive.
Had the camera panned to the left you would have seen the football fields (or what is now left of them) where I used to play with my friends. It's 2 minutes biking from my childhood home.

My dad emailed me yesterday about it, he told me he had seen what was going on, and was shocked, obviously...
Imagine several hundred idiots, some police, and bands of roving 'fans' going through a small sleepy 20.000 people town, enjoying a sunny spring Sunday...
Police helicopters flying above, police, mobile units, etc etc etc... Groups throwing stones at anything... destroying cars and everything in sight... pffffffffffffff...
Theer was no train traffic on that stretch the whole day, nothing could get through until 11 pm at night... the game had started at 12.30. Says enough, huh?

Not only the Ajax morons went crazy, at the Feyenoord stadium many dangerous and explosive situations occured between the two groups of hooligans, with only few police in between... One guy got heavily wounded because of a bomb made of fireworks...
On several Ajax-fansites a number of 'enlightening' pictures can be found, with very biased commentary of course, but the pictures say enough. Idiots!
Another good one: frontpage of two newspapers yesterday, Telegraaf and Volkskrant: big picture with caption 'Ajax-fans go crazy', or something to that extent. But, looking at the picture you could see they were dressed in Feyenoord wear... No comment...

Oh and let's not forget that the authorities screwed up completely once again too... As usual... Cheers!

All in all a great Sunday... one would almost forget that Ajax won 2-3, and that Champions League is closer again... I am happy for that, but... no...

Of course, once again all the politicians are scrambling to say their thing, and ventilate their ideas on the fact 'that something has to be done'... and in a few weeks all will be forgotten again. One of the major Dutch newspapers ran a good article yesterday, listing all the times in the last few years that 'measures were to be taken', and finally, what didn't happen...

Bastards... always destroying everything that is good... I am peaceloving, but as far as I am concerned they should have used machine guns when they had them all gathered... Either groups. It would have saved Dutch society a lot of future troubles and money as well... "Opgeruimd staat netjes", as we say in Holland. "Cleared and tidied looks neat".

How many more dead and wounded, how much more damage, how much more bullshit before anything gets done????

What a small country can be good at (too)

"Bij Alkmaar begint de victorie" At Alkmaar begins the victory...

In 1573 the armys of 'El Duque de Alba'(famous in Spain, for centuries the personification of the devil in the Netherlands) lose the battle for the city of Alkmaar, which results in the replacement of the Duke and his sending home, thus ending the reign of terror fighting the rebellious Dutch cities.
(a quick sidestep: the 'legend' is that 'we' wanted religious freedom, fact is that we didn't want to pay all these taxes for the upkeep of the Spanish empire that we were part of back then. So, money once again...)

The legend is actually that the defenders in the siege of Alkmaar were so desperate and running short of supplies that they actually melted the cheeses, just to have something hot to throw on the soldiers of the Spanish army (I'm not saying 'Spanish soldiers', as most were not even Spanish, but mercenaries from Germany, France and the Netherlands(!!)).

Here, were the city stood up against the armies that had raged and razed through Holland, the tide was turned (hence the opening sentence), which basically meant the beginning of the end of the Spanish military power in the region and finally gave birth to a new and strong seafaring nation, made rich by merchants (and privateers that annooyed and harassed the Spanish and English fleets wherever they could) and the first multinational in the history of capitalism: the VOC, the Dutch East India Company.

More than 400 years later, to make a biiiiiiiiiig jump in time and thought, Alkmaar was again the beginning of the end :) Again, 'bij Alkmaar begint de victorie'.

Yesterday AZ Alkmaar beat the last remaining Spanish team in the European Cup season (making it the worst international season in about 20 years for Spanish football). They beat Villareal over 2 games, and are now in the semi-finals of the UEFA Cup. Villareal, a team that is called the 'Yellow Submarine', for their all-yellow shirts and their submerging and emerging in the top-ranks of Spanish football.
With, especially in the away game, good football, showing once again how the Dutch way of playing is, as it has been used and developed since the early seventies. Both the UEFA-website and MARCA (the biggest Spanish sports newspaper) were referring to this.
With a team consisting of what were considered average players in the national league, the coach Co Adriaanse made a smoothplaying and very strong team that can take on anyone on a good day. Quite a number can now call themselves players of their respective national teams even.
Of course, now, scouts and representatives of all the major clubs are 'monitoring the situation', like vultures and will strike/buy whoever they want, probably...
Respect goes out to this team, and good luck wishes for the rest of the games! (it will be hard, with a number of serious injuries and suspensions, but we'll see!)

On Wednesday another Dutch team, PSV Eindhoven, made it to the semi-finals, the semis of the Champions League, beating and leaving behind some of the stronger teams in Europe, like Arsenal, Monaco and Olympique Lyon (the latest to be beaten), and now with 2 games against AC Milan ahead of them.
Again a team, that wasn't considered much in the beginning of the season, but will next week be crowned champions of the Dutch league, and made it with the smallest budget of all quarterfinalists to the semis.
Congratulations!

I've got to admit, neither team I consider 'my team'. In fact, I seriously dislike that team from Eindhoven (to say it very nicely), but... I can't have nothing but respect right now, and I'd actually love for them to win the Cups in the end. Even if it's just for not having these disgusting and filthy rich teams like Chelsea with their arrogant and petty coach win anything.

I guess the Dutch league, for all our griping, is not so bad after all huh? Many of the top players in the world, started or have passed through there, from Ronaldo and Romario to van Nistelrooij, Rijkaard, van Basten, Cruijff and Robben.
We're doing ok... :) 'We' have won more European Cups than well-respected football countries like Germany or France actually. And all that with only 15 million people! Nice...

Lots of birthdays

Last Sunday it was the 92nd birthday of my Danish grandmother. I can have nothing but respect and love for her. I'm so amazed, and then again not, as there have been some oooooold people in the family. One aunt even made it to 107... complaining about 'all these young kids' (that were 80 years old) in the elderly home!
Anyway, we had a great day. My parents had come to Denmark for the occasion, and my aunt and uncle made it as well. Unfortunately my cousins little girl was sick once again, so they didn't come. Too bad, it's always nice to gather 4 generations!

We had a typical Danish lunch table filled with all kinds of food. Tasty, once again!
After all the food and two bottles of champagne (imagine: I went to sleep at 6 am, woke up at 10.30, shower, and at 12.30 without breakfast I had my first glass of champagne... my stooooooomach) we found a bunch of old family pictures. From when my grandparents were young, or even of their parents. On some pictures I can hardly recognise them...
Well, you can imagine I have knicked most of them, and am now in the process of scanning them. I guess some of them will show up here along the way yoo...

Below the first one: my grandmother in 1939... I am smiling here

Clean and Simple

Ok, I've just been cleaning up my blogroll: the list of links on the side. Deleted some links that weren't that interesting anyway, and added a bunch of new ones. Especially a number of personal blogs of friends here in Copenhagen, wherever they may come from.
Jochem, Christine, Dani (another one!), Jarkko, Unai and Miguel are added, and others updated. The list consists now of many links (in every sense of the word...) to friends, from Mexico (Estrella Marinera) to Finland (Jarkko).

Check them out for good stories, and: on any of the sites you can find great pictures btw... and yes, I'll be in them as well...

"Why is that there are always only photo's from parties and such?"
"Well, I'm not going to take pictures when I am reading or sleeping..."

Shivers...

I just finished reading a long and thorough article on what is basically religious intolerance, and wow... some story...

Have a look at this below:
...I want you to just let a wave of intolerance wash over you... I want you to let a wave of hatred wash over you. Yes, hate is good... Our goal is a Christian nation. We have a biblical duty, we are called by God, to conquer this country. We don't want equal time. We don't want pluralism.

-Randall Terry, American Taliban

Via Orcinus, who’s new post will introduce you to plenty more of the extremist players and sentiments now endorsed by the Republican party and sanctioned by the mainstream media. He concludes by stating:

The Schiavo case indeed could prove to be a watershed event. But if centrists and progressives cannot muster the will to make clear to the public just how deeply enmeshed with the mainstream the extremist right has become, it will not mark a happy turning point for our nation (USA, red.), but a disastrous one.

Pfffffffffff... getting shivers when I read things like this... The last post on that site is also not one to get too happy about, on Holocaust denial and all... greeeeeeeeeeaaaattt...
For years now I have a feeling of slow but very potent venom dripping slowly into the hearts and minds of generally sane people, can't say that many events in the recent past have made me feel more comfortable about that...

I have to admit I prefer writing about for example the Return to Dakota with Alvaro and the others, or a family trip to Jutland, but this... ooooffff!
Read, and learn... I hope...

I can't let go...

Some days ago someone anonymous person (what a hero...) left a comment on the post where I address the hypocrisy of the last weeks happenings.
Anyway, apart from the fact that I'd love everyone to leave a name when commenting my posts (so I can see which pieces of my puzzle of friends are out there), that person didn't get the point of that at all unfortunately with my point being greatly underlined once again by the grotesque and typically dumb comment by Dubbya on the death of Prince Rainier of Monaco, where he praises him for the great prosperity and leadership he brought to that 2 square kilometers...
Prosperity for whoever brought a crapload of money, and leadership for those who didn't mind the democratic system being abandoned... thinking about it: it fits perfectly with Dubbya anyway:)

So as I came across this, I had to think of that comment again, and my response to it. Whoever you are I hope you read it... and try and read this too:

"The greatest crime of his (Popie Jopie's) papacy, however, was neither his part in this cover up nor his neanderthal attitude to women. It was the grotesque irony by which the Vatican condemned - as a "culture of death" - condoms, which might have saved countless Catholics in the developing world from an agonising Aids death. The Pope goes to his eternal reward with those deaths on his hands. He was one of the greatest disasters for the Christian church since Charles Darwin."

Check it out, it's enlightening...

Where is the Little Mermaid???

Ok, a quick one... Check this out!!

An underwater hotel in the Bahama's... oooooooffffffff... veeeeeery sweet! What is there to say? Flashbacks to old James Bond movies maybe?

Who wants to join? (no guys please, otherwise we'll just end up drinking rum all the time, as we're in the Caribbean anyway!)
Oh yes, one last thing: you pay for my stay, ok? :)

Hypocrisy, South Park and all that

Ok, ok, I know... total plagiarism, but I didn't want to keep this article from you (see below). I'm not a big fan of South Park, but I have got to see this one!!
The one thing I love is how they address the hypocrisy of (US) society, and our consumer culture. The movie that came out some years ago was brilliant too, I do understand there why some fossils (do I need to specify?) don't like being mocked... Maybe I should have a look at Team America as well, it's by the same guys that are behind South Park I think?

Anyway, the last week has seen a lot of backward hits on reason and humanity in that infamous case of that poor woman who was in coma for 15 years... At least we finally got rid of that old fart in that ivory tower in the Vatican. Good riddance! Hopefully we'll see someone step forward who has a notion of the world outside those golden walls. Too many have died, starved, and have fallen sick already because of their idiotic medieval hypocrite world view (you might notice I hate organised religion in all its hypocrisy...)

Actually, the other day we were briefly discussing with some people how the public opinion, political influence and especially the religious relics/cardinals/paedophiles (cross out what does/doesn't apply) would react if that old fart would have gone in to a coma, and stayed there for 15 years, with artificial feeding and all. Would have been an interesting case... to use the understatement of the year.
I brought it up again at a dinner table the other day, and it was funny to see people avoiding the subject. Too delicate, or are 'we' not as open minded as 'we' claim?
"Yeah, they would never allow that to happen" said one Italian... My point exactly, so they would have performed passive/active euthanasia then instead? On the head of the Catholic Church, with all their belief system? That would have been quite a show... Imagine: "Live on CNN, this is Wolf Blitzer reporting, live from the Vatican!!!" Well, or maybe Fox News?? They are so 'fair and balanced' anyway (I'll try and stop from gagging, can't believe I write abt them!)

Maybe, just to take it one step further, they probably did some covert form of euthanasia already anyway. The old man had so many failings, he couldn't have lived much longer anyway...

Or...? I'll stop here :) Your turn to think now. I'll head for my shower, and continue thinking and writing about some other ethical issue: a multinational and their ethical behaviour/reporting. Or to quote José Antonio: "That doesn't exist!" Greeeeaaaatt...

(A big big thanks go out to Salon btw for their contribution to this blog ;) brilliant column)
-----------------------------
The angels cheer: "They killed Kenny!"
In a brilliant episode, "South Park" mocks the surreal Schiavo train wreck -- and takes its first explicit shot at Republicans.

- - - - - - - - - - - -
By Andrew Leonard


March 31, 2005 | This week's episode of "South Park" (10 p.m. ET, Wednesdays on Comedy Central) begins with a tragedy. Cartman is determined to be the first to buy the new Sony PSP hand-held gaming device, but there are none left by the time he gets to the store. Even worse, Kenny, who probably suffers from the worst case of Asperger's syndrome of any cartoon character in the universe, was first in line.

Wow, I thought -- that's pretty timely. The PSP was just released last week -- those "South Park" guys are pretty good with their scheduling. But I had no idea what was coming next.

Kenny gets run over by a truck. It seems that heaven needs him! Satan is marshalling an army of 10 billion demons to storm the pearly gates. Kenny, with his amazing PSP gaming skills, is the only one who can organize heaven's forces to stop the evil horde. Kenny, it seems, is heaven's "Keanu Reeves"!

But wait! Kenny isn't dead! Doctors manage to resuscitate him! With a feeding tube! He's in a "persistent vegetative state." Heaven is doomed!

Or is it? It appears Kenny had a will, in which he bequeathed his PSP to Cartman. But the last page of the will, the one that purports to reveal whether Kenny wants to be kept alive by artificial methods, has been lost.

Cartman will not be denied. His lust for the PSP conquers all. He declares that he was Kenny's "best friend forever" and that Kenny told him he did not want to be kept alive. Kenny's friends and family don't believe him, but the courts do.

The feeding tube is pulled. "They killed Kenny," the angels cheer! Heaven is saved, as Kenny, using a gold-plated PSP given to him by Peter, defeats the forces of Satan.

OK, maybe the jokes aren't quite as funny the morning after, in the wake of Terry Schiavo's death. But that doesn't make the episode any less profound, or amazing. In 22 minutes, Trey Parker and Matt Stone manage to hammer politicians, the media, religious hypocrisy and every other aspect of the madness that is the Schiavo case. How they were able to put this together so quickly is astounding -- it's more timely than "The Daily Show."

On the "South Park" bulletin boards, where fans were rhapsodizing about how this was the best episode of the season, several posters mentioned that the show included, for the first time, direct Republican-bashing. I have no idea if this is historically true, but there's no doubt that it is blatant in this episode. Satan, in fear of Kenny, calls on his Republican minions to create a media storm in the hopes of keeping Kenny alive.

Ouch. Parker and Stone better watch out. The new head of the FCC, Kevin Martin, is an avowed crusader against indecency who believes that the protections given us by the First Amendment should be tempered by considerations of "good taste."

Wednesday's episode of "South Park" was in horrible taste. But it was also brilliant, important and one of the few signs of sanity demonstrated by anyone who has been drawn into the Schiavo vortex. Long live "South Park"!

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About the writer
Andrew Leonard is a staff writer at Salon.

Sometimes just be silent and let someone else talk

Had this beautiful poem of Pablo Neruda sent to me the other after talking to Irene.
Thanks a lot!! I'll practice, and hopefully read it out loud one day soon.
Looking at it again, I realise what I've realised so many times before (and others before me) that the latin languages are the perfect languages for such romantic poetry...

MUJER, NADA ME HAS DADO

Nada me has dado y para ti mi vida
deshoja su rosal de desconsuelo,
porque ves estas cosas que yo miro,
las mismas tierras y los mismos cielos,

porque la red de nervios y de venas
que sostiene tu ser y tu belleza
se debe estremecer al beso puro
del sol, del mismo sol que a mi me besa.

Mujer, nada me has dado y sin embargo
a través de tu ser siento las cosas:
estoy alegre de mirar la tierra
en que tu corazón tiembla y reposa.

Me limitan en vano mis sentidos
-dulces flores que se abren en el viento-
porque adivino el pájaro que pasa
y que mojó de azul tu sentimiento.

Y sin embargo no me has dado nada,
no se florecen para mi tus años,
la cascada de cobre de tu risa
no apagará la sed de mis rebaños.
Hostia que no probó tu boca fina,
amador del amado que te llame,
saldré al camino con mi amor al brazo
como un vaso de miel para el que ames.

Ya ves, noche estrellada, canto y copa
en que bebes el agua que yo bebo,
vivo en tu vida, vives en mi vida,
nada me has dado y todo te lo debo.