2008

So far? January was basically a total waste of time, and in the latter months of 2007 I've practically only been working and putting back together an interesting social life in Copenhagen. That's the short version...

Now, a time to catch my breath! My contract ran out last Thursday, and with every day that went along, I was and am more and more relieved. I started that job basically from one day to the other, and with all the changes in late summer I hardly had time to look around really.

Oh well, no complaining, but it is nice to have some quiet days to myself now! When I heard my new project was postponed by 8 days, I immediately looked for trips to do, but in the end I'm just sticking around here... Not bad! Am catching up with a lot of things I've been putting off, like a visit to a chiropractor.
Luck has it some opened office about 100 m from my home, so as I'm free now, the guy is adjusting my spine, and damn, it is already feeling better! It also gives some ideas on the fact how much I dislike sitting behind a laptop...

Good times... *sigh*

Can't wait until the sunshine comes out again for real, so for now I'm just enjoying the renovated flat. Slowly we're getting into a 'rhythm', and things are finding their place... It's great to have so much space!
And it's still great to have an evening alone too. Last night, I sat with a Cuban cigar, a glass of rum, a stack of interesting reading that had been piling up over the last months, and some magnificent 40s and 50s jazz playing... and just enjoyed myself! Just what the doctor ordered, hahah!


On a completely different note: am watching the 80s series Miami Vice again... just couldn't resist! Even though I have, I can't remember having watched them before, as I was quite young then, but my main amazement is how good most of the episodes still hold up to today's standards. They actually carry a strong message, and have a good story. Of course, the pastel colours of the interiors and the terrible tacky clothing are a comedic element now, but funny enough that adds to the strength of the show now. It's definitely a time-piece, but very much worth a new watch!

Since this story has crossed that puddle of water once again, I might as well share the most interesting and hopeful text I've read in a long time.
Because, as I write this story, the last results of the so-called 'Super Tuesday' in the elections in the US, are trickling in, and it's fascinating to see. I wasn't really interested - the only thing I hope for is a radical change from the current government and all its bile - but last week I read this speech by Barack Obama. Neither I wasn't all that up-to-date to what everyone was up to, but mr. Obama definitely earned my respect with this text.
I know I know, he's got good speech writers, but the sentiment is there. Well, good luck to him then!

And I promise I will do some more blogging, 2008 is looking very much more full of life and hope than 2007 was, and I wish to have that reflected here!

I’m having an affair...

Sorry, blog, but I am spending most my time with Facebook now, an even more fragmented way of communicating, “shouting out” my occupations, my daily life and invitations for social events...

I’m having an affair... This brilliant opening is inspired by this blogpost, that explains exactly why there has been such a long hiatus in the search for pieces all over the world, for the treasure hunt of friends..

“I was doing my usual daily blog reading last week when I came across one of those posts, “I’m sorry I haven’t posted in a while…”. We all know the posts and typically I just skim right through them and move on. This post got me thinking though. The author explained his absence was due to him spending too much time on other projects. All of the sudden, I knew what was happening; I knew the signs. This guy was cheating on his website, and so was I.”


Well, another post today then. A bit more serious than the opening… Actually, I am having a bit the same feeling as around 10 years ago in the Netherlands.

Why? The Danish election results. They underline and confirm once again something that was worrying me for quite a while: that the suffocating, vile and poisonous way of working of the Danisg People’s Party is rubbing off on too many here.
They just got too many votes, and that worries me deeply.

We had the discussion at work: the challenge lies in communicating and through that making clear what the consequences are of such political statements as their nauseating party is throwing around.

Why does it remind me of the Netherlands? Well, 10 years ago a feeling was growing in me that the general tendency of the country was one of cynicism, negativity and biting & frustrated sarcasm. I felt less and less at home in a country that didn’t seem to be able to grasp and grapple the issues of the day, and the downward spiral I could see around me helped in confirming my choice of moving to Denmark.
…How little did I know that it would descend into a paranoid, xenophobic, and antagonistic society that was scared of anything out of the ordinary, after the murder of a politician and a film maker, culminating in being led by some backward closed-minded fundamentalist Christians, who stick their head in the sand and think back of the good old days of the 50s, were they perceive there were no threats (“when a nuclear bomb hits, hide under the table and turn on your radio!”), no societal changes and were there were a lot less communication channels through which those damn citizens could vent their unhappiness…

Aaaaaaaanyway…

Right now, with the current state of affairs on Denmark I almost feel like moving again… what was voted for was a status-quo, pretending no changes have happened in the Danish society in the last 5 years, as if everything will run along merrily without taking in consideration any of the world-wide developments (notice how I avoid the word ‘globalisation’ here).

Still, there is a huge difference in the situation between the Netherlands back then, and Denmark right now. There seems a great movement going on, both online and offline, and a significant portion of the Danish society seems troubled by the results, even those that voted for the current government have that gut feeling that there is ‘something rotten in the state of Denmark’ (I just had to use that cliché).

So, will we manage to clearly explain to ourselves and to those who voted for that People’s Party what the consequences are of their vote, of their vote for that suffocating, wet-blanket feeling of ‘tryghed’ (security is half-assed translation of that word)? Will we be able to drag their heads out of the sand and show that there is more outside the safe borders of their precious little fairytale-induced Denmark than they think?
It’s interesting to notice how the internal and external branding of the country has created a distorted image of reality, of the self-perception of Denmark and the Danes. Everyone believes in their traditional foods, sunny summerdays at the family summerhouse, flags waving, kids playing at the beach, etc etc… (you know all the tourist images).
There are huge local differences to take into consideration however: my grandmothers’ village in Vendsyssel or Nørrebrogade, it is several worlds apart, and yet both very much part of the same country…

I am wondering about the next months, but no matter what it will be interesting!

2007 has mostly been crap for me, seriously crap, with some very close experiences of the results of the current government on the welfare system, and am constantly reminded of the ridiculous immigration policies here, that are so tight they basically only hurt the ones they shouldn’t be hurting…
I have been in Denmark for more than 8 years now, and I guess my housewarming said it all… 100 people, and you had to search out the Danes with a magnifying glass ☺

Oh well… things are a-changin', for me personally things have turned upside down for the better, and for Denmark... well, we're working on it (whoever we might be)!

"Management of change"

The title of this post is one I have had in my head for a long time, and coincides with the fact that many things have changed for me over the last weeks/months (which is one of reason of my long silence here).

Anyway, yes yes yes, I know, I should write again!

And here it is!

Initially I wanted to write about things that have happened over the last months, but now, with a lot of new and very good things looming at the horizon, I feel I should just move on, and focus on that!

The flat is almost done, which is one of the great things ahead. At this very moment the painter is finishing the 2 last rooms and have the floorguys (finally!) started with laying a new floor in the living room and my old bedroom.

Yup, my old bedroom! With help from some friends all the furniture has been moved around once again, and fiiiiinally I am living in my new bedroom! It's a great change, no more traffic noise, and a bright and light room, high ceiling and just no old carpet and all that...

Everything good is just happening right now... the last weeks were of visits by old friends, lots of talks until "the wee hours of the morning", some great parties (3 in a row, nice to know I can still do it!) and yesterday a networking event that had me brimming with energy, as I felt like a fish in the water: talking with fascinating people from all over the world, with all kinds of background stories that can be used as a great inspiration!

And soon: 3 trips are planned, to various places in Europe, new flatmates moving in, the flat finally done, housewarming party, and some more things, that I won't talk about now... don't want to jinx it ;)

So, with a great amount of energy back, I am ready for anything... if only the summer not turn into autumn already!

"To everything there is a season"

Where to start...?

The last few posts I've been dwelling a lot on basic things like life and death, but I want to move on.

It's been a week and a half since the cremation, and I feel the world has been upside down since. It both feels like forever and like only yesterday. In many ways the whole thing has been an amazing string of connected events, showing a great many circles coming to a full close and showing me how everything is related and connected.

Those days were good enough, and the whole processing has been fairly smooth, as we were cleaning out the flat more. The most fantastic treasures we found: family photo's dating back to around 1900 - putting faces to names I had heard through the years, many years letters of letters from my grand-grandmother to her daughter (I really want to read them all!), letters from my mother to her mother dating back to the late sixties...

And of course an unbelievable amount of crap: we really have to come up with a new definition for the word 'everything', as my dear granny - while complaining about my grandfather never throwing anything out - kept everything, and I really mean e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g. We found 100s of buttons for shirts etc, 1000s of meters of ribbon for Xmas presents, Xmas cards dating back to the early sixties (with envelope and all), a mountain of wrapping paper, plastic bags, belts, shoes, clothes, stationary etc etc etc... unbelievable...!

All the cleaning up is behind me now, and some big decision are being made concerning the flat, and the outcome will very much decide how it will all look in the end... well, we'll see, but one thing I know for sure: the Law of Jante ain't dead yet... and my hate vs certain organisations is still well-founded, as things sometimes just don't change: anybody care to take any responsibility? "Naah, a decision? Oooh, scary, you should talk to someone else. I cannot take a decision." The scourge of the welfare state...


Well, life has moved on: it's a strange odd feeling, but now that the painter has finally started to do the renovation here I feel something is changing.

I guess it is really like the priest said at the ceremony, quoting a text from the Bible that is made famous in the Byrds-song "Turn Turn Turn": "To everything there is a season..."

Sweet dreams

And so it happened. One of the infinite tragedies of life.

It's with great sadness to have to tell my dear and lovely grandmother has passed away last evening in the grand age of 94.

She was literally at the end of the line, and died gracefully, with a smile, and without any fear.

The last 6 months have been very tough as I have written about here before, as she simply 'faded' more and more quickly. The last 1,5 weeks hardly anything was left of her, but I know for sure her last days have been some very happy ones.
She had the closest family around: children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren. She passed away peacefully and with a smile, and the last words I have heard her say were:
"I just feel so happy".

Those words, and that is how I will remember her... always friendly, dignified and with a smile of love for her close ones.

(August 1949, with Vivi (my mother) and the eldest: Kjeld)

And, whether a coincidence or not, she passed away on the day that would have been her 67th wedding anniversary.
For all that it's worth -I am neither religious or really spiritual (I hate all that flaky & fake new-age-crap) - but I am actually sure she has re-found her place on the side of her beloved husband.
She knew that wedding day was approaching, since we told her and everything just 'fitted' perfectly.
We had been there all day yesterday, caring for her, and yet she waited, dignified as she is, with closing her eyes for the last time, until after we had gone.

...On the table lay a newspaper my uncle had brought, folded by coincidence (??) so only 2 words from the frontpage were visible: "Sand kærlighed" (true love). And that is what she had and showed for sure...

(2 parents, beaming with pride and happiness, at my parents' wedding, in august 1967)

Well, for me a very long, emotional and difficult period in my life has come to a close now, but can only say I am happy I could be there for her; taking care of her for 2 years. I will miss her dearly!

With sadness, but looking forward to a great summer and with great friends visiting over the next months... (and for some close friends: new little loved ones coming soon...!). I wish I could be there!! :)

The most unwanted of guests...

I feel strange...

Over the years I have seen different types of death and all the pains involved in my direct surroundings: all kinds of horrible cancers, heroin overdose, fatal strokes, and others... Never will I forget the first time I saw a dead person, but these days it is different, very much closer to my skin, saddening, but oddly enough not scary, and yet somehow deeply fascinating.

For about 2 years I have been taking care of my Danish grandmother, as I have written about before. In the last 6 months things have been going really fast though: every day I have seen something else slip through her fingers and not see her be able to recover that skill or possibility. For 2 years I was afraid of waking up and see her lying on the floor, but thank God that didn't happen... and somehow we managed.

Last Wednesday however broke my heart. I have seen her in different conditions, but when visiting her in the elderly home the sight of that little, frail & old woman having deteriorated that far was just too much. I could hardly utter a word and basically just sat holding her hand as tears welled up in my eyes. I was just all choked up.
And yet, she was smiling, simply for the fact I was there, and words were hardly even necessary.

And again, the last week things have moved along fast... and it is now only a matter of days or hours even.

Why is all this fascinating? (not sure it is a good word in this case, but I'll stick to it)
From very close I am witnessing this proud human being slip away physically and mentally, and getting ready to knock on the Pearly Gates.
I don't know if I can explain well, but it's fascinating as it is following in some way a very 'predictable' path, as opposed to some quite sudden deaths previously.
Fascinating as I am sitting there holding her hand, and she tries to show her love through half-closed eyes, and gentle squeezes with her hand, hardly any energy left in them...
Fascinating as it is incredible how strong the human spirit is. There she is, skin over bone, not able to eat or drink, and still trying to keep some dignity. And at the same time making that (for me inpossible now to imagine) step of accepting that it will be over soon... Not just accepting it, but saying it as well.
It's hard to comprehend the courage, strength, and strongness of heart it requires to utter those words. It's not despair, but a long hard stare at a new reality.

And at the same time, for all the love I have for her, I hope she will find peace soon...

When travelling to France those few weeks ago I bought some new books to read (adding to the pile of half-read books I am working on already) and one of the books is a lovely collection of short stories by Paulo Coelho, called 'Like the flowing river'. One of the stories contains a part which I will quote here, as it bears the above in mind, and takes the sadness death brings and changes into a point of departure for learning and living:

"We are all walking towards death, but we never know when death will touch us and its our duty, therefore to look around us, to be graceful for every minute. But we should also be grateful to death, because it makes us think about the importance of each decision we take, or fail to take; it makes us stop doing anything that keeps us stuck in the category of the 'living dead' and instead, urges us to risk everything, to bet everything on those things we always dreamed of doing, because, whether we like it or not, the angel of death is waiting for us".

(21/6: little update & small additions)

Sorry, I just have to brag!

Most of the party pictures are uploaded now to my Facebook account (here and here), but this one I just have to show here...

As I have travelled quite a bit over the years, I have been fortunate to have taken some great pictures of great places, of great moments, with great people...

But this one, well, I'll let it speak for itself!

It's a flower on a cactus that stands at the foot of Fort Carré in Antibes, in the south of France.

You know you're an international person, when...

Ok, I 'stole' this from a Facebook group, but it is just brilliant and very recognisable, so I couldn't resist posting it.

(yes, I am back from an amazing trip to France and will post photo's soon! Oh, and have tasted some great French food, and I really like it, but just don't spread the rumour ok?)



You know you're an International person in Copenhagen when...

...you make a sport of laughing at fashion victims

...you're met with looks of sympathy when you tell your friends you have to go to Jutland to visit family

...going to the movies is a BIG DEAL since it's so expensive (besides, your sketchy friend already got you a bootleg copy you watched before the movie even came out)

...you see people drinking beer... any time, any place, any brand (go try Star pils..!), and any age

...you know that J-day ISN'T Judgement day, but the day that the Christmas edition beer (Julebryg) is unsleashed on the populace

...you realise that potatoes are not just a bland side-dish, but a way of life

...you don't understand why they even BOTHER with football

...you haven't gotten the hang of biking, so your buscard is your most prized posession (cos it cost an arm and a leg, and a tooth... and the other leg)

...when you bomb the tax offices

...when sometimes the satire goes waaaaay out there

...when you memorise someone else's name and address to give to the ticket checkers on the train to avoid a fine

...when you've been down the "Death Route": Studenterhuset, the Moose, LA Bar, Wall Street, the gutter

...you haven't quite mastered remoulade

...you actually prefer Swedes

...you hate H&M and Vero Moda/Jack and Jones cos every other bitch is wearing your outfit

...you know shades are essential summer clubbing gear- not to look cool in the club, but so you don't get blinded leaving it at 3 a.m.

...public nudity just doesn't shock you

...you learn the S-train and night bus schedules cos that's the only way you get around

...that cab you took all the way from town to Lyngby seemed like a good idea at 4 a.m., but not on Monday when you find your Dankort has been revoked

...you get wasted before you leave to go out partying cos it's soooo much cheaper, and you sober up just waiting to get to the bar

...you consider 15ºC to be "nice and toasty"

....the city comes to a standstill in winter cos everyone was caught unawares by the 1cm of snow

...you feel really bad for public school teachers

...you've mastered the art of Danglish

...your friends in other countries think you're insane for eating salty liquorice

...you get altitude sickness on the penthouse floor

...you DENY knowing any Nik & Jay lyrics

...you know what the "Roskilde" smell is

...you need a visa to get into Nørrebro (and feel you should have to get one to get into Jutland)

...you know it's pronounced EE-kea, NOT EYE-kea

...your living room looks like p. 25 of the IKEA catalogue

...you start eating rugbrød and like it

...you know the ONLY hotdogs are Danish. Don't argue

...you know "Danish" pastry is 1.) called weinerbrød and 2.) nothing like whatever pirated version you get outside DK

...you've lived here for 10 years and you haven't been in the sea while sober, cos it's so damn cold

...you spy on people at night cos no-one closes their curtains

...Johnny Bravo just isn't the same in Danish

...watching stuff without subtitles is weird

...you give up explaining where you're from to Danes

...you laugh at all the red or whiiiiiite bodies on the beach

...your favourite pizza is kebab pizza

...you automatically become friends with other international people just because they're international

...a trip on the Oslo boat is an "exotic cruise"

...tall, blond and blue eyed just doesn't do it for you anymore

...summer's all about Nyhavn and Kgs. Have. And dodging tourists on Strøget

...random strangers smile at you on the street and make you suspicious

...1st of May has nothing to do with the International Workers' Day, but everything to do with Bunk Off and Go Drink Beer in Fælledparken Day

...you didn't care about HC Andersens's bicentennial either

...you don't get what the big deal is about handball. Or curling for that matter

...dodging people with clipboards at Kultorvet becomes an exact art (headphones on, acting like there's someone calling you on your phone, pretending to look through your bag... you know them all)

...none of your friends own a car...

Deeply fascinating...

Came back last night from that birthday party in Skanderborg, Jutland and I have to say it was sooooo very Danish (a ridiculous amount of food... I don't need to eat until Christmas!) and all the obligatory (but fun!) speeches were there.

It's a fantastically beautiful area and we were very lucky with the good weather we had. (very important in Denmark: being lucky with the right weather!)

(the Skanderborg lakes, not a ripple on the water...)

However, even though I unfortunately didn't meet my grandcousin again (it has been 15 years already!) I ended up talking the whole day with a fascinating man from a small island in the south of Denmark. He started telling me things I don't think even his wife knows about, despite their 51 years of marriage!

He started telling me about the Battle of The Marne, where his father had been fighting as a German soldier (that Danish island was German until 1920, which explains his funny accent) in World War 1, and had actually survived from beginning to end... including being in an English POW labour camp from 1918 to 1919.

He told me about an attack during that battle... 14.000 Germans attacked, in the same way all attacks went back then: everyone being slaughtered in no time.

Only 7 soldiers made it back out of the 14.000 (!!) and his father, a sergeant of some sort, was one of them...

Arriving back at the command HQ - bloody, dirty, tired, exhausted and completely shattered - this German soldier went to report to his superiors.
He then walks right into some sort of orgy of alcohol and whores, and as his commanding officer looks at him in that state - coming straight from the trenches, the officer says:

"We had an encounter with death, but it sure was fun!"

At that very moment he decides he will never participate in those mindless, senseless battles anymore... and somehow manages to stay alive during the next 4 years, until he gets captured by the English and is sent off to a labour camp in England.

In the meantime his wife at home on the island of Als, doesn't know whether he is alive or dead, when hearing about all the insane destruction of human life that is going on.
She then meets a Russian POW that was sent with a whole group to the then German island for some labour (and as far away as possible from the frontlines). So when our German soldier returns home after the war, he finds his wife and daughter gone. (I can hardly begin to imagine the pain and suffering of that generation, and the horrors of war they had to go through).

Fortunately he manages to regain custody over his daugther again and as he finds a new wife the islanders have to decide whether they want to be Danish or remain German.

That was all that was to it, just signing their names on a piece of paper! That was that! (quite a difference from the xenophobic regulations and rules of today's Denmark, huh?)

The story from World War 1 was one of the many this man told me: he also told me about his time in Paris, when he went on a whim in the early fifties to learn French, and experience French women... ehhh, I mean 'culture'. Some stuff here definitely is not known to his wife... ;)

While he was telling me all this (we spoke until 2 am... and were the last ones to be kicked out!) his WW1 story reminded me immensely of a fantastic book I have read some years ago, which shook me to my very core. It's the book Birdsong by Sebastian Faulks. This book basically deals about the same facts (seen from the perspective of an Englishman).
It's basically the same story about someone trying to survive the insanity of the war, through the love for his close ones. All he wants is to survive, very simple...
That book was so powerful to me, that while reading I had to lay down the book at times, for the strong emotions it evoked...

I am definitely going back to the book now, after hearing this real story. The resemblance was uncanny!

Thanks Rudolph, for sharing these stories with me!! It inspired me once again, and we had a great evening talking about 'life in general' and of all the beauties we have met in life... ;)

Random stuff... or is it?

Wanted to be writing for weeks, about the great dinner we had last Saturday, where I cooked for 12 people. Basically the inaugural dinner for the flat being in my name, restarting an old family tradition of big dinners in that place..

Wanted to write more about Scott and Sel visiting, or Japie being here for one day, about the fact I am leaving in a few hours to a great family birthday party in Skanderborg, about visiting Guillaume in Antibes next weekend...

Just to make the tone of the posts reflect the increasing amounts of light in Denmark!

But... have this dark thing looming over me, over us all: as you can read in earlier posts granny is not well. And now we have reached the stage where there is nothing else to do anymore.

We've given up. There is now an agreement with doctors, hospital, the home and her, that she won't have to go back and forth between the hospital. It will just prolong the suffering needlessly.

And, she told me Tuesday she hopes it is over soon... In a way I am hoping with her, as it is terrible to see her like that, but it still hurts very much to hear. I hope her last days will be comfortable, with her chair and her things around her. With family visiting and seeing her children, grand- and greatgrandchildren once more...

It could be over today, it could be over in 2 weeks... It's an odd thought!

Still, have to start packing now, and get ready... still have lots of ironing to do! If anybody wants, please speak up!

Next post will be full of pictures again, as I'm off to one of the most beautiful areas in Denmark. I really want it to clear my mind a bit!

Ahhh, and I am using Facebook since Monday, damn, what a waste of time! But it got me reconnected to people I haven't seen or spoken to in years! And that is exactly what this blog is about: the treasure hunt for all those friends all around the world...

Have a nice weekend... and be safe!